Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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