i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
