Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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