THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
