it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
