3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
