we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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