Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
