Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize