That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
