they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
try to milk me bitch
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