Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My dick has a subreddit
This can only be settled by a dance off.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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