There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
