GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize