It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
