he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
