2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize