is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
