Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
