Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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