pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
