What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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