There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize