I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
