Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
