you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
