i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
