why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
