Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
