hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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