omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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