I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
