So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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