Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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