Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
