are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
