Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize