I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
