apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
