We're facebook friends in real life
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
