He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
