THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
