Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize