someone owes me an orgasm
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize