Got a toothbrush?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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