Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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