And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize