I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
