I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
