3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
