So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
