Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
