I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
