32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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