Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
