this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
