Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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