There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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