Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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