Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
