Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize