a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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