i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There's always time for handjobs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
