You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
