Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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