Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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