I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Still dying that you shit outside
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
