Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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