we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize