dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
