He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
