Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
