i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
