i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
